I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
