I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Randomize
