This girl is more easily done than said...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize
