I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize