There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
