yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
