I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
