Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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