Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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