My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
This baby is an asshole
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
