And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
