you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
