I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You are the jesus of drinking
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
