Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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