What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
