absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
50% drunk capacity currently
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize