Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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