I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Randomize
