She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
