Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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