i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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