in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I want a musical about memes.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
