I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
