Well douche your snatch and let's go!
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I think I won the penis lottery.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
