Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
