You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
