Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
