Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
