just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
