She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize