i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Randomize