I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
