She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
well, you know. whores of a feather.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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