my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize