Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
