How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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