Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
