we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
