the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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