toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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