He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
