We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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