did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
