Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize