My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
