I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
