i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
