The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
