turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
