Pappa wants mamma naked
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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