"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
