it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
