Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
