Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
they're like a gay fantastic four
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
