Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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