DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
