I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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