it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
