you turned your livingroom into a bong?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
